How to Start the New Year Right

NOTE: This article is from an old blog Golden wrote on from 2017 to 2019. It was called Mama Wants an RV. The blog has since expired but the memories remain. Thanks for reading!

Original Post from January 6, 2018

Each year I find myself thinking about how to make this year different. I can’t help it! It’s part of my “goody-two-shoe” nature. I like to make things better. More interesting. More meaningful.

This year is no different. Here’s to great ideas and big plans!

A Fresh Perspective

Perhaps my biggest challenge to overcome each year is what will make this year different from the rest? Life can become pretty monotonous. I am not immune to falling into a routine that is both boring and life-draining. Get the kids to school, do the dishes, feed the cat, laundry, chores. Pick the kids up from school, spend time refereeing, make dinner, say hi to husband. Put the kids to bed and think about doing something fun. Nah, that’s too much work. Veg out and go to sleep. Tomorrow, repeat. Next week, repeat. Etc., etc., etc.

You get the picture.

We fall into these ruts and don’t know how to get out. I grasp at straws trying to change up my daily routine, but I find myself falling back into it day after day. I have come to learn there is a bit of safety in that. There’s nothing wrong with keeping the peace. After all, stirring up the pot can cause disastrous results. At least that is the case in our home, where kids with their own baggage from the past, can be triggered to excruciating proportions simply by changing the order of daily events!

While I may not be able to change the routine for my family, I can surely do something for myself!

It begins with a timer!

I use my cellphone to keep me from spending too much time on any one chore. For example, I felt like the house had become such a disaster (and would continue to be so forever), that I just stopped trying. Instead I fell into survival mode. Cleaning happened the moment I needed the space for something else. Unfortunately, this meant the mess was left to overwhelm my brain for day or weeks at a time. Enter the cellphone timer. I choose either ten or twenty-minute intervals to complete cleaning tasks in any given room. I had no idea how much I could accomplish in only ten minutes! When the timer goes off, I move on. It doesn’t matter if everything is done, it’s more than I would have accomplished sitting there looking at it.

Leave the Past in the Past

I have made my fair share of mistakes in life. From cooking to parenting, faux pas can drag me down. (Have I mentioned before that I’m somewhat of a perfectionist.)

Depression.

Such a nasty, icky, wanna-get-out of my head condition.

Depression is serious. Very serious. My kids have struggled to the point that intervention has been required. I have never needed medical intervention, but let me tell you, I become discouraged and hopeless many, many, times throughout the year. When I get in those bouts of darkness, I find myself feeling lonely and meaningless to society.

I know there must be many more mamas out there like me. Life is hard!

This year I’m choosing to put my dark moments behind me and accept that God has given me a life to live. It’s a life filled with blessing after blessing, if only I can be present in the moment.

No looking back, and no jumping ahead!

Guilty.

I am one of those people who looks down the road perhaps a little too far. Drives my husband crazy. One moment I’m talking about landscaping the backyard, and the next I’m back to focusing on the front. I’m thinking about graduation parties’ years away, and he’s thinking about fixing the gaping hole in the foundation. I’m budgeting in my head how long it will take to save up for some special fixture for the yard, and he’s using up the money to take care of things right now.

I do get ahead of myself. Here’s to staying present today!

Healthy Habits

More than any other New Year’s resolution, eating healthy and exercising top the list. We love the reset button. We anticipate it coming by overindulging Thanksgiving through Christmas. January first is coming, and until then we can eat, drink, and be merry!

While I’ve made healthy eating goals most years, I have not come up with an exercise plan. I never was motivated enough to pay money to workout. To me, that sounds like a lose-lose, situation.

Enter YouTube.

I looked up low-impact beginner workouts and found a fifteen-minute routine that I’m giving a whirl. Twice a week, I work at my own pace with the video. I love that nobody’s watching me goof up, especially when I can’t seem to get my arms to coordinate with my legs. I constantly find myself in the position backwards, fumbling around to get back into step. I’m a mess!

I signed up for some free magazine offer a few months back. I was wise enough to choose a healthy cooking one. I’ve been working through a three-day detox diet this whole week. You heard correctly. It’s taken me ALL week to get through this three-day diet. It’s been good though. Definitely recommend, if you like kale, spinach, and garbanzo beans.

Attainable Goals

I have this list. It keeps getting bigger. For the last few years I have chosen to write our family goals down by month and year. We’ve just about accomplished all our goals from 2016. We’re about halfway through the goals for 2017.

The list holds a variety of endeavors: personal, professional, home projects, and even vacations. This year I chose to create goals by days of the week too. For example:

Mondays.

1. Bible Study

2. Exercise

3. Weekly Meal Prep

4. Read/Write

5. Adoption Ministry

I’ve tried to keep each day as simple as possible. I wanted to feel successful at the end of the day. As a mom that can get calls from school personnel and therapists quite often, I need to keep things flexible. I also make plans for the month, although, I will be happy if only half of them are accomplished. Projects take time, and people will always be more important in my book. I find that by writing things down, it simply gives me a place to return. A way to get back on track if I’ve lost my way.

Keep Your Dreams

While I’m choosing to live in the moment and not dwell in the past or the future, I still have dreams to work towards. These are aspirations carefully placed in the back of my mind, reminding me that the reason I’m writing today is for greater things tomorrow.

Everything we do in life has a purpose, even as menial as the task might be. I may not think washing the dishes is impacting the world in any large way, but it is. When I let my husband come home to a clean kitchen, he feels free to relax. A relaxed husband is a pleasant husband. I know he feels loved and appreciated for the work he did away from the home. I also know I am loved and appreciated for creating an environment of tranquility (not an easy task with three loud kids).

I’m not always successful, but I must believe that all the wins and losses are going to be worth it someday. They are forming me into a more patient and kinder person. A woman on a mission to change the world is one who cares for those closest to her first. Once she has her family’s hearts, she can carefully step out into more responsibilities.

This was my lesson last year. I hope I remember it well.