Unpredictable Planning

NOTE: This article is from an old blog Golden wrote on from 2017 to 2019. It was called Mama Wants an RV. The blog has since expired but the memories remain. Thanks for reading!

Original Post from March 10, 2018

I decided to do a little dreaming today. After being cooped up in bed sick this week, I needed an outlet!

I planned a two-week trip in our tiny motorhome! The target date for this trip is in October to coincide with the Balloon Fiesta in Albuquerque, NM. I’ve wanted to attend this magnificent balloon event for years. It just hasn’t worked out yet, and, there’s no guarantee it will work out this year either.

That’s not going to stop me from dreaming though!

I’ve learned to plan, but not expect things to happen the way in which I envision them. Being married and having kids, specifically kids with special needs, has taught me a lot about planning for an unpredictable future.

Let’s begin with my wedding day.

You know how the bride and groom aren’t supposed to see each other before the wedding ceremony? I was a stickler on this tradition. I had it all planned. I would be perfectly dressed in a gorgeous gown, my hair done up nice, and a bouquet in my hands when my husband first glanced at me.

We each drove to the event center separately from our various morning appointments. Mine included my hair and makeup being done, while my husband was probably working on some last minute gift details for the groomsmen, etc.

No sooner do I arrive on site and open my door when I’m accosted by my frantic husband-to-be. I intentionally tried to avoid eye contact. I even ducked my head trying to hide the beautiful details of my glorious makeover. Thoughts raced through my head like, “What doesn’t he understand about I don’t want to see him right now?” and “This is going to mess everything up.”

I was really disappointed.

He on the other hand was terrified. Terrified that I had forgotten his grandmother’s picture for the wedding cake table. Really?! I told him exactly where the carefully placed frame was with the other carefully packed items for the tables, and ceremony. I remembered it all. (This probably wouldn’t be the case today, as my mind is fried.)

The wedding went on despite my disappointment. It was hard to pay attention to any of it. I felt in a daze most of the time and then it was over. Next was our honeymoon, then back to work, then newlywed struggles, and more life including good times and hard times.

That moment where we saw one another prematurely has not impacted our marriage in any significant way, other than to remind me how terrible a perfectionist I used to be.

Then came our kids.

I don’t know what I pictured exactly, but somehow I had this vision of a happy beautiful family living together in harmony forever. No problems, no anger, just perfect bliss. I was a bit off my rocker.

Our kids came to us at eight, nine, and ten. I tried to remember myself at that age. It wasn’t pretty. Our kids came for one respite week and we literally had the perfect honeymoon. Playing at the park, dinner around the table, Bible time, chores with no complaining, trips to the museum and pool, plus souvenir photo albums. We all shed tears when it was over.

Of course, I should have known better, but I was still a young bride inside. What mom doesn’t dream of blissful babies and a perfectly structured home life?

The reality hit a couple months later after the kids had returned to our care as a legal risk placement. I quickly came to the realization that I would never be my kids solitary source for parenting instruction or affection. It would be years later before I realized the significant difference this made to me and to my kids.

You see, things don’t exactly go as planned in my life. So, when I say I’m planning a two-week road trip I really mean, “I thinking about this trip, maybe, sort of, if it’s the right time, and nothing goes crazy the day before.”

That happened once. Come to think of it twice. Nope. Three times. Never mind. I’ll stop counting now.

Back to the trip.

Balloon Fiesta in Albuquerque, NM. Visiting friends in both Dallas and Houston. Walking the beach along the Gulf Coast. Awe. It sounds wonderful!

I made two itineraries. One covering three states and the other covering seven. It really depends on how ambitious we are feeling at the time of departure. This is one of the benefits of traveling via motorhome rather than airplane. I don’t have to schedule too many things in advance. Just a rough plan.

Texas might include visiting our daughter’s birth town and taking some pictures for her. It could also include San Antonio and Corpus Christi. I’m hoping I can make the schedule work out, so we attend church with each of our friends on the two Sundays we have available.

The three-state trip would include New Mexico, Texas, and Oklahoma. It would comprise seven rest days and seven drive days. This would be a great itinerary for us if we were facing difficult situations in our home life before going.

The seven-state trip would include New Mexico, Texas, Oklahoma, Louisiana, Alabama, Mississippi, and Florida. It’s nice how those last four are all lined up nice near the coast. I’ve never seen the Gulf Coast and if all goes as “planned”, I might be able to see it from five different states. I’m so excited!

Are you planning any road trips? How do you prepare for the unexpected? What have you learned from past events in your own life?

Do you have any recommendations on where my husband and I should visit? Yes, it will only be the two of us! I really love beaches. He likes engines and history.

Let me know in the comments. I love hearing from you!

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